I miss Tolga, so so much! I miss how we fight and then make love. I miss his broken English and how is says "how is possible" for every little thing. Things were great, but something alarming caught my attention this last evening. I was casually killing time on facebook, when I noticed that he had tagged someone wishing them a happy birthday. The post said "José Alegre, happy birthday to you" and there was this video underneath.
Wait a minute! Didn't he say his cousins wouldn't spare anything gay on his profile and they would make fun of him. I think the picture we took last night was nothing "gay" as compared to this advert. I was on one side of the frame, he was on the other and his friends, whom with he has thousands of pictures on facebook already sat in the middle on the other side of the table. All the food I made was kept on the table.
So, I decided to look through his facebook page and found another video, that of a gay gigolo dancing topless. Similar to what you would see in a show in Amsterdam. This was one of his friends, he had shared the video of this guy on his wall. And some of his other friends had commented on it as well; stuff like "hoş" (Turkish work for nice) and seksi (sexy). It rang a bell again! how is it possible that his so called "cousins" would ignore that and would mind a picture with me, which clearly didn't even have a physical contact.
I decided to confront him through an email. Asking him how our photo would have been objectionable to his family while a video like above and the gigolo dance video were perfectly fine. To which he replied "it is Renault advert" completely ignoring the other video and a few minutes later that video was deleted from his page.
Am I really getting into a relationship with a man who wants to be with me but not want to be seen with me? I may not have learned much from my previous relationship or dating experiences, I may not know what I want from a relationship. I SURE KNOW what I DON'T want! A man who is ashamed of being seen with me is certainly not what I expect. I decided to overlook this incident. When he didn't reply to my last email I sent him a message on Viber asking him where he was and what he was doing. His response was very limited "I am not free". He is jobless and there is nothing that I know of that can keep him so busy. Earlier we would speak at least 2 to 3 times a day, but just because I confronted him today he chose to ignore me. This is exactly how most Turks behave actually. Turkish people are usually scared of confrontations and of those who speak openly.
After that message I sent him my usual "Good night baby" message and I'm still waiting for a reply.
Now, as the clock is about to strike 00:00 and a new day is about to start I feel heart broken and disappointed! Not because of what I said... because of the fact that I was with him all that while I have known him for 8 months and despite having been dumped by him in October 2012 over an SMS I still trusted him again and started everything all over again. I know I am not perfect and somewhere in my heart it could be my fault as well. But isn't open and honest conversation the virtue of any relationship?
I don't blame him or me... we are two very different people I guess!
Wait a minute! Didn't he say his cousins wouldn't spare anything gay on his profile and they would make fun of him. I think the picture we took last night was nothing "gay" as compared to this advert. I was on one side of the frame, he was on the other and his friends, whom with he has thousands of pictures on facebook already sat in the middle on the other side of the table. All the food I made was kept on the table.
So, I decided to look through his facebook page and found another video, that of a gay gigolo dancing topless. Similar to what you would see in a show in Amsterdam. This was one of his friends, he had shared the video of this guy on his wall. And some of his other friends had commented on it as well; stuff like "hoş" (Turkish work for nice) and seksi (sexy). It rang a bell again! how is it possible that his so called "cousins" would ignore that and would mind a picture with me, which clearly didn't even have a physical contact.
I decided to confront him through an email. Asking him how our photo would have been objectionable to his family while a video like above and the gigolo dance video were perfectly fine. To which he replied "it is Renault advert" completely ignoring the other video and a few minutes later that video was deleted from his page.
Am I really getting into a relationship with a man who wants to be with me but not want to be seen with me? I may not have learned much from my previous relationship or dating experiences, I may not know what I want from a relationship. I SURE KNOW what I DON'T want! A man who is ashamed of being seen with me is certainly not what I expect. I decided to overlook this incident. When he didn't reply to my last email I sent him a message on Viber asking him where he was and what he was doing. His response was very limited "I am not free". He is jobless and there is nothing that I know of that can keep him so busy. Earlier we would speak at least 2 to 3 times a day, but just because I confronted him today he chose to ignore me. This is exactly how most Turks behave actually. Turkish people are usually scared of confrontations and of those who speak openly.
After that message I sent him my usual "Good night baby" message and I'm still waiting for a reply.
Now, as the clock is about to strike 00:00 and a new day is about to start I feel heart broken and disappointed! Not because of what I said... because of the fact that I was with him all that while I have known him for 8 months and despite having been dumped by him in October 2012 over an SMS I still trusted him again and started everything all over again. I know I am not perfect and somewhere in my heart it could be my fault as well. But isn't open and honest conversation the virtue of any relationship?
I don't blame him or me... we are two very different people I guess!
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